Treasure Planet meets Family Guy
by Welsh Gem
Summary: What the title says. Better than it sounds. WARNING: Contains Mary Poppins and Lindsay Lohan. R&R, plz! Not ment to insult, just some fun.
1. Stories about Meg the truth of Mary P

Jim-Chris

Silver-Stewie

Morph-Herbert

B.E.N. -Brain

Amelia-Louis

Doppler-Peter

Scroop-Meg

Flint -Meg

Sarah -Meg

Arrow-Carter

Billy Bones: Herbert

Pirates- Quagmire

Cleveland

Patrick

Mort

Neil

Cleveland Jr

Tom

Mayor Adam

Treasure Planet meets Family Guy

**Chapter One: Stories about Meg and the truth about Mary Poppins**

I have done a few twists like Meg is three different characters. Sarah is Jim's sister. And a few others.

Two kids are reading book with flying pictures.

Jim(Chris): Hey, sis, look at this.

Scene: Goes into the story.

Narrator: On clear night, not like the ones in Wales, big fancy ships sailed across space. Some had smooth rides. Others weren't so lucky.

TARDIS: crashes into the side of a big ship.

Big Ship: Falls

Strange voice: neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar ..

Narrator: But the most popular way to make a ship fall was committed by pirates.

Small Ship: Appears out of nowhere.

Narrator: But the most ugliest and disgusting pirate of them all was Captain Nathanael Flint!

Flint(Meg): Hey! You forgot feared!

Narrator: Only cause of your face.

Chris: He looks like you, Sarah.

Sarah(Meg): Slaps Chris across the face.

Small Ship: Kicks Big Ships ass.

Scene: Changes to a green planet.

Narrator: Captain Flint stashed all of his treasure in a very special place, where no spacer has gone before. Treasure Planet.

Chris: Cool

Mary Poppins: Okay, children. Time for beddie byes. *Cheesie smiles*

Chris :No.

Mary Poppins: Duck tapes Chris mouth and ties him up then leaves.

Chris: Mmmmg!

Meg: Yeah?

Chris: paaa smmmiichh doooo

Meg: passes Chris a Stitch doll.

Chris: Snores

**Lol, what do you think? R&R PLZ!**


	2. The Rubix Cube and Lindsay Lohan

Treasure Planet meets Family Guy

Chapter Two: **The Rubix Cube and Lindsay Lohan**

It's a very quiet, rocky landscape then Jim Hawkins come flying on a flying scooter.

Chris: Weeeeeeeee! Solar scooting is sooo easy.

Solar scooter: whams into a rock.

Chris: ouch

Ambulance: Nee-Noo! Nee-Noo!

Chris: crap.

Scene: Closes up on an inn.

Meg: Slaves around like Cinderella

Mary Poppins: Put your back into it!

Meg:* Rushes over to a table with Dog chow in it.* Hey Doc!

Doctor Doppler(Peter): Hey Jane!

Meg: It's Sarah. *Puts the dog chow down*

Peter: Yum. *Sticks his head in the bowl* Ohmm Nommm

Ambulance peps: *Pushes door wide* Mary Poppins.

Meg: JIM! YOU ASSHOLE!

Ambulance peps: If we have to treat this wise-assed bitch again, he's going down!

Meg: Down where?

Ambulance peps: Hhehehehe. *points to his privates*

Meg: Eww!

Peter: What if I trade you the boy for the girl?

Ambulance peps: looks at Meg

Meg: Cheesie Smiles

Ambulance peps: Drop dead.

Peter: Buggur. Now Jim. Be careful when you're solar scooting. I don't want to end up with just Jessie.

Meg: IT'S SARAH!

Peter: Whatever Jasmine.

Later

Peter: Kida, gimmie more beer.

Meg: Can't. Jim had the rest. And it's Sarah!

Peter: Damn him!

Jim: *Sits on the roof like an emo* I wish Mary Poppins didn't burn my Stitch Doll.

Burning Pod: Crashes not far off.

Jim: Cool. I'm off to point and laugh. *Runs down to the Burning Pod. Points and laughs*

Billy Bones(Herbert): PIRATES!

Chris: Where?

Herbert: Hello kid! Could you do me a favour?

Chris: What's in it for me?

Herbert: Going on an awesome boat with a mutinous crew and almost being marooned on Treasure Planet then having to escape an exploding planet. You almost die four times.

Chris: OKAY!

Herbert: *gives Chris a wrapped up cube* and beware the cyborg! *has a heart attack and dies*

Chris:* Laughs one more time then runs up to the Inn.* Guys! You never guess-AHH!

Peter: *Punches Chris across the face* You drank all the beer!

Chris: Do I didn't! Mary Poppins did.

Marry Poppins: *Sings in a very drunken way* YO HO, YO HO, A PIRATES LIFE FOR ME!

Peter: Oh.

Suddenly: Pirate ship lands outside the Inn.

Chris: RUN!

Pirates: Burst down the door.

Chris and Meg: Run up the stairs

Peter: *Runs behind Mary Poppins* Get out of my way you bitch!*Pushes Mary Poppins down the stairs*

Mary Poppins: AHHHHHH!

Pirate: Ohh! A pretty poppet!

Chris: Dead end!

Meg: *Open's a window.* Let's jump out the window.

Peter: Yeah very smart, Cinderella. Wait! Let's jump out the window.

Chris: Good idea.

Meg: That was my-Oh never mind!

Everyone: Jumps out the window.

Peter and Chris: lands in the carriage

Meg: Falls to the ground.

Chris: Pulls Meg on.

Peter: RUN BOY RUN!

Delilah: I'm a girl *RUNS*

Later At Doppler's House

Peter: Sorry about the mess.

Chris: *steps on to a pizza slice* Eww!

Peter:*shoos out a few prostitutes* hehehe. Nice Chicks.

Chris: *Unwraps the wrapped-now-unwrapped cube* Oh crap it's a Rubix cube. Oh well. *Completes Rubix Cube*

Rubix Cube: Green holograms whooshes out.

Peter: Holy crap! It's a map!

Meg: Gasp

Chris: OMG! It's treasure planet!

Meg: You mean that fairy-tale planet with Flint's trove and that shit?

Peter: Shut up, Bell.

Chris: Can we go? Can we go? PLEASE!

Peter: Hell yes!

Meg and Chris: Yey!

Peter: Apart from you, Aroura!

Meg: OH! You expect me to stay here all by myself?

Peter: NO! I brought you company.*Goes to the door and opens it* Ariel, meet Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay, meet Lilo.

Lindsay Lohan: Hi! I'm a lesbian.

Meg:NOOOOOOOOOO!


	3. The Catty Captain and The Cyborg Cook

Treasure Planet meet Family Guy

**Chapter three: The Cat Captain and the Cyborg Cook**

Scene: Zooms in to the moon. Wait it's not a moon! It's a Space Station.

Space Station: Hiya

Chris This place is awesome.

Peter: Is wearing a metal fat suit.

Chris: Why did you buy that?

Peter: I slept with the sales woman and she threatened to tell her husband who is a hit man and he'd kill me unless I bought the suit.

Chris: Oh,

Chris and Peter: Walk around until they see a ship

Peter: Hey, Jim, this is our ship!

Chris: Really?

Peter: No!

Chris and Peter: Walk around some more

Chris: What about this one *points and a pretty blue and white ship with the words SRL Legacy written on the side*

Peter: Yep.

Chris: Not bad.

Peter and Chris: Walk on board

Mr Arrow(Carter): NAMES PLEASE

Peter: Um, Doctor Doppler and Jim Hawkins.

Carter: THANK YOU. THE CAPTAIN WANTS TO MEET YOU

Peter: You ain't the Captain

Carter: NO! SHE'S UP IN THE RIGGING! OH AND BY THE WAY! *POINTS AT PETER* YOU STA Y AWAY FROM HER!

Chris: She?

Captain Amelia(Louis): *Jumps from rigging* SUICIDE!*lands on her feet* It's true. Cats always lands on their feet. *Turns to Arrow* I have checked this ship from top the bottom, from side to side and the Galley is a mess! *See's Peter and Chris* Who ARE these handsome guys.

Peter: I'm Doctor Doppler and this is Jim Hawkins.

Chris: Hi.

Louis: HI! My God!*does an annoying laugh* You're cute! *points at Doppler*

Carter:...RHH...

Peter: Why thanks, slutty cat!

Louis: I'm Captain Amelia. My other names: Cat-pain Amelia, Kitty, and know Slutty Cat. Call me Kitty.

Peter: OK Kitty.

Louis *Giggles*

Chris: 0_o

Louis: Please come in to my office.

Everyone: Walks into Amelia's Office.

Louis: So, can I have the map please?

Chris: NO

Louis Please?

Peter: Sorry Kitty. The map has kind of replaced his old Stitch Doll's place.

Chris: NOTHING COULD REPLACE STITCH'S PLACE!

Louis: Jim, please give me the map.

Chris: NO

Louis*tackles Jim* GIVE ME THE MAP, JIM!

Chris: NOOOO!

Louis: *Grabs the map* It's a RUBIX CUBE!

Chris: *crying* Yes

Louis: Oh well.* Completes it*

Rubix Cube: Whooshes open.

Louis: OMG! It is a map! *closes it* I'll keep it safe. *Locks it in her cupboard*

Chris: NO!

Louis: If any of you say anything about the map, you'll end up like Michael Jackson.

Chris and Peter: WE'LL SHUT UP!

Louis: Good. Now your punishment, Jim Hawkins. You'll be serving as a Cabin Boy for the rest of the vogue. You will be sleeping in the Crew's Quarters and I warn you. One of them is a paedophile.

Chris: NOOOOOOO! I HAD ENOUGH WITH MARY POPPINS! PLEASE NO!

Louis: Sorry. No choice. Take them both to the Galley, Mr Arrow.

Peter: Hey! What have I done?

Louis: You might want to comfort him before leaving him in the Galley.

Peter: oh

Outside

Carter: *Grabs Doppler* IF YOU TRY ANY FUNNY BUSINESS WITH KITTY, I'LL KILL YOU.

Peter: OK

In the Galley

Carter: MR SILVER!

Silver(Stewie): Why, why, why, Mr Arrow. I have been expecting you. *faces forward to reveal he's half machine, half human* And you have brought gests! Oh Goodie.

Chris and Peter: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Stewie: Are you going to introduce them, Mr Arrow or are they going to introduce themselves?

Carter: THIS DOCTOR DOPPLER*shoves Doppler forward*

Peter: Ow!

Stewie: I love the outfit doc, do they have it in my size?

Peter: UM, no. No.

Stewie: BUGGAR

Carter: AND THIS IS JIM HAWKINS!*points at Jim*

Stewie: Hi!

Chris: Are you a paedophile?

Stewie: NO! no! Morph is.

Chris: Morph?

Pink Blob(Herbert): Morph! Morph!

Stewie: This here is Morph.

Morph: Hi there, boy!

Chris: H-h-h-hi.

Stewie: You two are going to spend a LOT of time together.

Chris: Oh no!

Carter: WE ARE ABOUT TO CAST AWAY! WOULD LIKE TO OBSERVE THE LAUNCH, DOCTOR?

Peter: Um, Will Kitty be there?

Carter: Glares

Peter: Um, I mean yeah. I would like to observe the launch *runs up to deck*

Carter: MR HAWKINS IS IN YOUR CHARGE, MR SILVER.

Stewie: Oh Goodie.

Chris: Please don't leave me..

Carter: I GOT TO GO AND EMBARRASS DOCTOR DOPPLER *LEAVES*

Chris: So, have you been blowing up any Inns or raping Mary Poppins?

Stewie: *eyes go wide* NO! no, no, no, no, no.

Chris: Phew! Cause this guy gave a map before he died and told me to beware of a cyborg but thank god you're not the guy. Phew.

Stewie: Yeah *laughs nervously*


	4. More Meg and Memories

Treasure Planet meets Family Guy

Chapter 4: More Meg and Memories

Stewie: Why don't you go and watch the launch. I got to tell Morph not to rape you in the night.

Chris: Okay*leaves*

Stewie: You heard me; no raping. And no mention of the mutiny.

Herbert: Okay

On deck

Louis: Dad. Could you do the honour? My throat hurts.

Carter: GET READY TO BLAST OFF!

Peter: *whispers to Louis* Is he really your dad?

Louis: *whispers to Peter* I know, it's weird.

Carter: RAISE THE SAILS!

Crew: Done

SLR Legacy: Slowly rises

Gravity: Pfft!

Everyone: floats

Carter: Tries to push Peter off the ship.

Louis: DAD!

Carter: SORRY. ENGANG ARTICIFCAL GRAVITY!

Neil: Presses button

Carter: trips up Peter when he lands.

Louis: DAD!

Carter: Sorry

Chris: OMG there are a lot of flying whales!

Peter: I got to take a picture and brag it to Tinkerbell and Lindsay when we get back*leans over to take a picture with a camera* say cheese!

Carter: THANK IMBACILE IS GOING TO GET SQUIRTED WITH GREEN-BLACK LIQUID THAT SMELLS OF VOMIT! LOL!

Space Whale: CHEESE!

Peter:*takes a picture* Nice...what did you say, Arrow?

Carter: I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO TAKE A PICTURE! * leans over to take a picture* SAY MACADAMIA NUTS!

Space Whale: Squirts green-black liquid that smells of vomit.

Peter and Louis: PMSL

Carter: ..GRR..

Stewie: Hello Captain. You look like this chick I slept with before we came on this damn vogue

Louis: Really! OMG, I know I'm sexy but I'm not that sexy*annoying laugh again* Thanks!

Carter: MY DAUGHTER DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A PROSTITUE!

Louis: DAD! He means Beyonce!

Stewie: Actually I meant Mary Poppins.

Chris: YOU SLEPT WITH MARY POPPINS!

Stewie: NO! no, no, no, no! A different Mary Poppins. *looks away*

Chris: OH! oh right.

Stewie: Any way, you better mop this ink stuff up before someone breaks their neck.

Quagmire: Too late!

Later:

Chris: I hate mopping.

Neil: *walks into Chris* Watch, fat guy!

Chris: Sorry.

Scroop(Meg): Fat guys should learn to mind where they're standing.

Chris: You look like my ugly sister.

Meg: *picks Chris up* learn what not to say, too!

Chris: OMG! Your breath stinks!

Meg: I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

Stewie: Scroop!

Meg: Pauses

Stewie: Put the lad down. He's mine.

Meg: grumbles

Crew: walks away

Chris: Thanks. That spider guy has really bad mood swings. Not to mention breath! *coughs*

Stewie: Ignore him. He's been like that since he lost his mouth spray.

Chris: Poor guy.

Stewie: So, have you ever lost something close to you. I lost my leg arm, ear and eye. We were very close.

Cleveland: And your brains!

Stewie: Shoots Cleveland

Cleveland: ouch!

Chris: I lost my Stitch doll. Mary Poppins set him on fire.

Stewie: Poor thing!

Chris: Yeah. Thank God some pirate raped her. We left her at the Inn and then it blew up so she's dead. I hope.

Stewie: Well, you're in my charge, so sing a song. *Lies down and stares at Chris*

Chris: Okay. *Starts to sing*

_I always need time with you  
I thought I needed you there when I cried  
The days feel like years when I'm alone  
And the bed where you lie  
Is made up on your side_

_When you burn away  
I counted the minuets you take  
Do you see how much I needed you?_

_Now you're gone!_

_It pieces up my heart  
I'm missing you  
Now you're gone!_

_The face I came to know is missing too  
Now you're gone!  
The fur I needed to feel to always get me through the day  
And make it OK_

_I miss you_

_*_a picture of Chris cuddling up to his Stitch doll*

_I will forever fell this way  
Everything that I do  
Reminds me of you  
_*a picture of Chris cleaning the fire place*  
_And the ashes you left, they hid in my jar  
And they smell just like smoke  
But I still love you_

_When you burn away  
I counted the minuets you take  
Do you see how much I loved you?_

_Now you're gone!_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you  
And now you're gone!  
The face I came to love is missing too  
And now you're gone!  
The fur I loved to feel to get through the day  
And to make it OK_

_I miss you_

_You were made from China  
Supposed to last forever  
I know that we were  
Yeah, yeah  
And I all I ever wanted was for you to know  
Everything I do I give my heart and soul  
I can hardly breathe when I feel your ashes near me  
But,_

_NOW YOUR GONE!  
_

_The pieces of my heart fly away  
Now you're gone!  
The face I came to know is fading away  
Now you're gone!  
The toy I needed to hug throughout the day  
And make it OK..._

_I love you...I need you_

_I miss you._

_Now you're gone._

Chris: I love you Stitch!

Stewie: Ouch. my heart-strings.

**The song is when you're Gone by Avril Lavinge, if you're wondering. I did mix up a few lines and words. I'm still here didn't really go with the story. but no one is reading! SOOOO upset! :_( ** _  
_


	5. OMG! It's a Supernova!

**Chapter Five: OMG! It's a Supernova! **

Stewie: Walks into the galley

Crew: Shuts up

Stewie: Everybody here?

Cleveland Brown Jr.: Sorry I'm late! I had, um, business to attend to.

Stewie: Fine just sit down.

Cleveland Brown Jr. : Sits down

Stewie: Right. WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING! I WORKED MY RUPERT OFF TO GET US HIRED AND YOU LOT WANT TO BLOW OUR PLANS BEFORE WE EVEN GET CLOSE! I WANT YOU LOT TO BE QUITER THAT BRITNEY SPEARS'S DIET ADVISOR!

Crew: ..silent...

Stewie: Now. I'll work the boy so much he won't have time to worry about his old toy.

Next day

Stewie: Pushes Chris out of the hammock.

Chris: OUCH! WTH was that for?

Herbert: You got chores, boy and I'm going to be watching you.

Chris: Oh God.

Stewie: Takes Chris to the side of the ship and hands him a scraper

Chris: What's this for?

Stewie: Scrape the barnacles off the side. I want them all gone when I come back. *leaves*

Herbert: You heard Silver, boy. Get scraping. *stares*

Chris: whimpers

Later

Stewie and Chris: Peels food

Later

Chris: Scrubs deck

Herbert: Stares

Chris: Shudders

Later

Chris: Cleans dishes

Stewie: Hands him a BIG pile of dirty dishes

Chris: AWW!

Stewie: Shut up and work

Herbert: Stares

Chris: Will you stop staring!

Herbert: Shut up and work.

Chris: sighs

Later

Stewie: Hey, you've worked hard today. Want to come for a boat ride?

Chris: HELL YES!

Both: Get into a boat.

Boat: Starts sailing

Chris: WEEE!

Stewie: *falls off and clings to the side and gets back on * I knew I should have not let him drive. I'M DRIVING! *takes wheel*

Chris: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Boat: Lands in the longboat bay.

Chris: Thanks! Now I look like Bonnie Tyler! *smoothes down hair*

Stewie: Yeah. You should see Scroop when he drives. His face gets beyond hideous.

Chris: I thought that his face couldn't get any uglier.

Stewie: I did too but it can. At one point it looked like Katie Price's breasts.

Chris: Eww!

Stewie: Disgusting, ain't it. You know man, I love you.

Chris: *widens eyes* you do?

Stewie:*widens eyes* not in a paedophilic way. Like a, um, brother?

Chris: Thank God! I love you too, like a brother.

Herbert: I love you too, Jim. You're the best cabin boy I've ever laid eyes on!

Stewie: Back off, Morph! You're scaring my 'brother'.

Herbert: Pouts

Suddenly: Ship turns and the guys and morph go flying off the longboat

Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHH! *runs up deck*

Chris: OMG! IT'S A SUPERNOVA!

Scene: goes from cool blue to OMG! IT'S A SUPERNOVA! red. You know what it looks like. I hope.

Louis: Time for WONDER WOMAN!*turns into a superhero*

Carter: DARLING! WRONG SPOOF!

Louis: Woops.*changes back* I mean, Captain Amelia! Get us out of this crap, Wheel Guy!

Mort: Aye, aye! Kitty! *turns the ship*

Supernova: I don't think so, Sonny Jim! *spews*

Kitty: AHH! It's a wave!

Peter: Actually, the Supernova just spewed.

Louis: Eww!

Spew chunks: Rip sails

Louis:*pretty mad* DAD! GO AND PULL DOWN THOSE SAILS! EVERYONE GO AND HELP HIM! APART FROM JIM! THE KID GOTTA TIGHTEN EVERYONE'S SAFTEY LINES!

Chris: Aww man!

Louis: QUIT COMPLAING AND GET TO WORK! DOCTOR, STAY HERE WITH ME!

Peter: Yeah, yeah. I'll be back now! *turns to Scroop* the rock-guy is the only thing between me and Kitty making out so I'm giving you money to kill him. Got that?

Meg: Yeah. I'm not a stupid so you don't have to talk to me like that!

Peter: Of course your not, honey. Of course you're not. Now go and snap some lines..

Meg: Ok

Louis: OMG! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SUPERNOVA!

Supernova: Spews

Louis: Eww. It's changing! It's going black!

Peter: It's a black ass-hole!

Cleveland: HEY!

Peter: Not you. The supernova turned into a black ass-hole.

Cleveland: Oh.

Louis: As long as it doesn't spews.

Peter: Worse.

Black Ass-Hole: Farts.

Everyone: Goes flying.

Carter: * Suffocates* Geez, that stinks more than Christopher Biggin's aftershave.

Chris: I'VE TIGHTENED THE ROPE THINGS!

Louis: Good cause if you didn't you'd go head first into a bonfire along with your stitch doll!

Chris: I HATE YOU!

Meg: Bye-bye Mr. Arrow, sir! *snaps rope*

Carter: CURSE YOU SPIDER MAN! *dies*

Meg: Giggles

Peter: Oh, oh. I think it's gonna blow!

Louis:*light bulb appears above her head and lights up* Unloosen the sails!

Neil: It's ok. We didn't even tie em up in the first place!

Louis: *sighs* SCREW YOU!

Peter: Here comes the release tank!

Black A-H: Farts.

SRL Legacy: Goes flying.

Everyone: Cheers!

Louis: WE DID IT!

Meg: BTW, I saw Mr A go off the side of the ship. He cried "Why didn't the kid tie my rope!"

Louis: Bends her head

Peter: Sorry for your loss, Kitty.

Louis: YES! I GET THE INHERITANCE! *parties*

Everyone else: Stares

Chris: He died in a fire like my Stitch doll. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *runs off*

Stewie: OG!

**The whole brother thing at the beginning was the reason why I put Stewie as Silver. Brian didn't go with it. I'm sorry if it made you sick or offended anybody in any way! R&R plz! It means SO much!**

**W.G. **


	6. What's a Mutiny? Are we Stranded?

Chapter 6: What's a mutiny? Are we stranded?

Chris: Sits on ropes like an emo

Stewie: Hey there

Chris: ...

Stewie: You did good today. I checked the ropes they were tighter than Angelina Jolie's attitude.

Chris: NO THEY WEREN'T COZ MR ARROW FELL OFF AND DIED!

Stewie: DON'T SHOUT AT ME! Look, you're great but you've got to, um, *looks at the camera* can I have a look at the script. I forgot my lines.

Random person: Here*hands script*

Stewie: Yeah, thanks. Um. You've got the making of greatness in you but you have to take the helm and chart your own course. Who wrote this rubbish? Huh? This is worse Jedward's singing!

Jedward: PRESSUR! PUSHING DOWN ON ME!*jumps around like a pair of tone deaf, stupid monkeys*

Stewie: See what I mean.

Director: Just get on with it.

Stewie: Okay! Okay! Right, you might want some sleep. Big day tomorrow.

Chris: Okay. *Runs to the crew's quarters*

Stewie: Weird script

Scroop: Okay.

Next morning: Next morning

Herbert: Pretty cabin boy. *smooches Jim*

Chris: OMG! You kissed me! WAAAAAA! *runs off*

Herbert: I'm coming to get you. *chases Jim*

Chris: Hides in barrel of purps

Herbert: Found you.

Crew: Enter the galley.

Herbert: Turns into a gag and gag's Jim

Mort: There are only three left

Mayor Adam: We want to take over the ship!

Stewie: Not until the treasure is in sight

Meg: I say we kill them all

Stewie: I say not until my say so! Pull a stunt again like killing Mr Arrow and you'll be joining MICHEAL JACKSON!

Crew: Gasp

Cleveland: Land ho!

Crew: Cheer! runs up on deck

Chris: climbs out of barrel

Herbert: Changes back into normal

Chris: What are they doing?

Herbert: They're doing a mutiny, boy.

Chris: What's a mutiny?

Herbert: When the crew turn against the captain. This crew are pirates.

Chris: OMG!

On Deck: Everyone goo-goo eyes TP

TP: hai u guys!

Stewie: Where's my telescope? Wait a minute! Why do I need a telescope when I have a robotic eye?

Director: Just go along with it!

Stewie: Fine *goes down the galley.*

Chris: OMG!

Stewie: What are you doing down here?

Chris: I know you're a pirate! Die you (enter swear word of your choice) *stabs Sliver's leg*

Stewie: DAMMIT! THAT WAS MY REAL LEG!

Chris: Woops. Sorry.*runs off*

Stewie: Bugger. *whistles* CHANGE IN PLAN! WE MOVE NOW!

Crew: cheer

Stewie: Can someone get a band aid for my boo-boo?

Crew: Pulls up pirate flag

In stateroom: In stateroom

Louis: *open's cupboard and takes out gun and reloads it* pirates on my ship? I see they all get BLOWN TO BLOODY PIECES!*throws a gun at Doppler* Do you know how to use a gun?

Peter: Who doesn't? *shoots the globe*

Louis: THAT COST 200 BUCKS!

Peter: woops. sorry!

Louis: Jim! Protect this using your pocket! * hands Jim the Rubix Cube*

Outside: Pirates Blow up door using guns

Stewie: *Spots whole in the floor.* WHOLE IN THE FLOOR!

Mort: Jumps through in a fork position.

Stewie: TEN PIONTS FOR THE RED TEAM!

Louis, Chris, Peter: Runs

Herbert: Files

Peter: trips

Louis: picks him up and chucks him aside and closes door and locks it

Chris: Quick! To the little boats!

Louis: Opens hatch then jumps in little boat

Pirates: Burst open door

Door: ouch!

Everyone: Starts shooting everything

Herbert: Wait a holey-moley! That Rubix Cube is from my previous life! IT'S MINE!*nicks the cube*

Chris: OH GOD!*chases Herbert*

Patrick: Shoots

Peter's glasses: Break

Peter: He broke my glasses! AHHHHHHH!*shoots Patrick and Mayor Adam and Neil* DIE! IDIOTS! DIE!

Louis: O_o

Stewie: pulls switch

Hatch: Starts to close

Louis: BUGGER!*notices wires and cables and light bulb appears above her head* Doctor! I..

Peter: Yeah, I know! Shot the cables when you say.

Stewie: Morphie! Come here!

Chris: Morph! Come, here. Come here!

Stewie: Morph! Me!

Chris: I'LL LET YOU KISS MY BUTT!

Stewie: I'LL LET YOU KISS EVERYONE'S BUTT!

Herbert: flies into a pipe and falls into a pile of ropes

Stewie: OW! MY BOO-BOO!

Chris: Grabs the Rubix Cube and runs back to the little boat

Louis: NOW!

Peter and Louis: Shoots cables

Little boat: Falls

Chris: Yahoo! We got away.

Louis: sails little boat

Cleveland: *targets little boat* Asta Lavista, BABY!*Shoots little boat*

Peter: OMG! IT'S A LASER BALL!

Louis: Tries to pull little boat away from the laser ball

Little boat: get's hit by laser boat

Louis: *get's hit as well* OMG! WTF! OW!

Little boat: Crashes

Everyone: Underneath wrecked boat

Chris: Are we stranded?

**Hehehe. Stewie got a boo-boo! R&R and take a cookie!**


	7. OMG! WHAT HAPPENED TO BRIAN?

**Sorry for being soooooooooooo long! I've been busy with my other ff's and school is NO help, AT ALL! **

**Chapter 7: OMG! WHAT HAPPENED TO BRIAN?**

Chris:*Pulls up the boat to its side* Ow.

Peter: *Gets up* WOW! THAT WAS MORE FUN THAN JUMPING ON THE BEDS AT A WAL-MART!

Chris: *Looks at him funny*..yeah...sure.

Louis: OMG! MY SIDE KILLS! OWW! IM GONNA DIE! *rolls across the floor, holding her side*

Peter: HAHAHA!*points and laughs*

Chris: You should help her.

Peter: WHY?

Chris: *Leans in* You might get to see her bra!

Peter: Holy crap, you're right! *Turns to kitty* Let me have a look at your bre-side. Side. Yeah, side

Louis: *Annoying giggle AGAIN!* Sure. Go and, uh, have a look.

Chris: WAIT A SECOND! What about the map?

Louis: Hehehe...do I really have a sexy voice?

Peter: Yeah.

Chris: *Sighs and takes out the map*

Map: *Floats*

Everyone: *Gasps*

Map: *Turns into Morph*

Herbert: LOL!

Chris: WTF!

Herbert: I've hidden my map in a secret place, boy. You'll never find it!

Chris: *Grabs Morph and shakes him* TELL. ME. WHERE. THE. MAP. IS. NOW!

Herbert: *Throws up* I hid it in a coil or r-r-r-rope! WAAAAAAAAAAAA!*cries like a hungry two second old baby*

Chris:*Lets Morph go* Good

Peter and Louis: *Make out*

Chris: Eww!

Herbert: Pretty!

Chris: *grabs Morph and runs off with him* That's going to leave a BAD picture in my mind. *Runs into something metal* OMG! MY NOSE!

Brian(B.E.N.): DEAR DEVIL! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR, MAN!

Chris: *Gasps as he see's B.E.N. is a robot* OMG! What happened to Brian?

Brian: I'M B.E.N. Which stands for, um, *Turns to a random director* Can I get a look at the script, man?

Random Guy: *Gives B.E.N. the script and waves to the camera*

Brian: Right..blah blah blah...right! Here we are! Um, Bio-Electronic Navigator? Shouldn't that be B.N. because Bio-Electronic is one word 'cause its connected with a hyphen?

Director: Just get on with it!

Brian: FINE! Shish! Who wrote this crap anyway?

Stewie: *jumps in* I know how you feel *jumps out*

Brian: Yeah. Yeah. *Turns to Jim* Uh, do you want to stay at my house? I got loads of room and-

Chris: But we're being chased by pirates and Kitty's injured-

Brian: You got a chick? Screw the pirates! Come right over!

Later: Later

Louis: *snores*

Peter: Jeez! The cat weighs a truck! I want to be carried! *jumps on Chris to carry him*

Chris: *Gets crushed* OMG! GET OFF OF ME! OW!

Peter: Wimp *gets off of Jim*

Chris: *pant*

Brain: *Stares at Amelia* She's...nice

Peter: *Drops Amelia on the floor*

Louis: OW!

Peter: Hehehe*looks at B.E.N.* Kitty's mine

Louis: meow

Brian: Drinks? *Drinks a martini*

Peter: HELL YES! *Snatches an beer and drinks it* Ahh...nice...

Chris: LOOK! IT'S THE REST OF THE CREW! WE'RE OVER HERE! Oh, wait. I just remembered that we're hiding from them. Oh. Opps.

Louis: YOU IMBACILIC, OVER-WEIGHT, TWO FACED *enter swear word of your choice*

Brian: *Looks at Doppler* PMS?

Peter: PMS.* Looks at Jim* PMS?

Chris: PMS.*Looks at Herbert* PMS?

Herbert: PMS. *Turns to pirate crew from below* PMS!

Pirate crew: PMS!

Peter: Yep. She's PMSing.

Louis: *grumble..mutter...grumble...*

Stewie: Oh? I can I talk to Jim?

Chris: NO!

Stewie: JIM?

Chris: *To Amelia* Please don't send me down there? Please!

Stewie: I can hear you...

Chris: *Shudders*

Louis: Get you freshman-butt down there and tell him to GET THE HELL AWAY!

Chris: Crap. *Walks down to Silver*

Stewie: Look here man. I'm sorry for all those things I said. I even have a song.

Scene: Changes to a bar, Jim sitting at a table, Silver on a stage with a mike.

Stewie: This is for you, Jim. *Points at Jim and starts to sing*

_I'm not a perfect person  
There's many things I wish I didn't do  
But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know_

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with everyday  
And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away  
And be the one who catches all your tears  
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is You

I'm not a perfect person  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show  
A side of me you didn't know  
A reason for all that I do  
And the reason is you

Stewie: *stops singing*

Chris: *is crying* So beautiful.

Louis: THAT WAS CRAP!

Chris: Huh?

Stewie: TO HELL WITH YOU! I'LL KILL U ALL IF I DONT GET THAT MAP NOW!

Chris: ...

Crew-now-pirates: Um, we're tried! Can we kill them in the morning?

Stewie: WHAT! UNTIL MORNING! ARE YOU NUTS!

Cleveland. Jr.: Pretty rock! *strokes rock* It's okay, rock. I'll call you Rockington Moss-Height The Third. Junior. For short: Rocko.

Stewie: =O

Chris: =O

Cleveland: That's my boy!

Stewie: Yeah. We'll kill them in the morning UNLESS we have the map.

Crew: *walks away*

Stewie: Hey! Chocolate kid! Give me the rock! **(Sorry if that is REALLY offensive it's just what Stewie actually called the Browns that on the first Cleveland Show episode)**

Chris: *Walks up back to the house* We're screwed.

Louis: Ohh! It's hurts! Get this splinter out of me!

Peter: Okay! *Pull out the splinter* Better?

Louis: My injury is hurting me!

Brain: I can have a look, you know. *Eyes go wide and stares at Amelia*

Louis: *blink*

Peter: I've already had a look. It looks like Darth Vader's face! *Pulls up Amelia's coat to reveal a bunch of bruises forming a Darth Vader's face*

Chris: O.M.G.

Louis: AHH! I HAVE THE DARK SIDE IN ME!

Peter: Let me take it off of your mind!

Louis and Peter: *make out*

Herbert: Pretty

Brain: ...grr...I have a back door! *Runs to the back door*

Door: *opens*

Chris: Okay *Runs outside* It's dark out here!

Brian: Let's go and steal the map!

Chris: Oh. OKAY!


	8. Bye, bye Meg and HOUSE PARTY!

**Baaaaaaaaaaaaack!**

**Chapter Eight: Bye, bye Meg and HOUSE PARTY! **

Chris:*drives little boat into the side of the ship* ouch

Everyone: *Gets on board*

Brian: Right. You go get the map while I go and do some...stuff.

Chris: Okay...*Runs down to the longboat bay* Hmm...*Grabs Morph* where's the map?

Herbert: Right over there, boy! *points at a Rubix cube in a pile of rope*

Chris: Yippee! *hits a lever, sending off a siren noise* Whoops! * Turns it off*

Herbert: Run Fat Boy Run!

Both: *run away and go up the stairs*

Chris: *gasp as he sees Scroop* OMG! YOU'RE ALIVE!

Meg: I didn't die in the first place!*Lunges at Chris*

Chris: AHHHHHHHHHHH*runs back down the tunnels*

Meg: You can run but you-AHH!

Chris: *Stops running and looks back at Scroop*

Meg: * Is wearing a very small bra and Morph's face appears on the cup*

Herbert: I must say, the robust colour suits your scarlet body but I think you need a double D to have the perfect fit.

Meg: GRR!* rips off morph and throws him in a cupboard* I'M GOING TO KILL THE FAT BOY!

Herbert: *Turns off the artictifal..arti-oh cut the crap! MAN MADE GRAVITIY!*!

Chris and Meg: *Stares* WTF?...*both start floating in the air*

Chris: *blinks* HI-YA! *Karate kicks Scroop*

Meg: *Stands into a crane kung-fu shape then grabs Jim's fist* HUH!*house kicks Jim*

Chris and Meg: *Start doing all these kung fu movements in mid air*

Herbert:*Plays a flute*

Chris and Meg: *cross their legs then drink tea from nowhere* Inner peace . Hommm.

Herbert: *Stops playing the flute*

Meg: *swings her arm and knocks away Morph's flute*

Chris: *gasp*

Herbert: Bad Spider-Pig. *Kicks Scroop sending her flying into outer space*

Meg: ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE LOVED!

Chris: *sniff* Sh-he was the b-b-b-est kung-g-g-g f-fu w-war-r-rior of-f a-all t-time...

Herbert: SHE was a f*****g , w****y a**-***l B!T£#!

Brain: What'd I'd miss?

Chris: Where have you been?

Voice from the bedroom: Brrrrrrrrrrian? Come here you beast of a dog! *giggles*

Brian: Angelina Jolie, Brittany Spears and Katie Price wanted to, um, _play a game_.

Herbert: OH! Is it monopoly?

Chris: No! It's cluedo! Who was the killer?

Brian: Ahh...Mrs. Peacock.

Chris: How can someone have a cock the size of a pea?*blinks* Oh! I hope I didn't offended you, B.E.N.

Brian: I HAVE HUMPED MORE WHOES THAN TIGER WOODS, KID!

Chris: No, no. You mean _holes_. Tiger Woods is a golfer right?

Brian: *Punches Jim*

Chris: OW! OMG! MY EYE!

Brian: Let's get back to the Captain and Doc.

Angelina Jolie in a tiger print underwear: Oh come on, Brian. You can bring your friends!

Brittany Spears in a leopard underwear: Yeah! It has up to five players!

Chris: But there's six of us..

Brittany: That's what I said! *holds up three fingers* Twelve players!

Katie Price wearing red nipple tassels: I have a little song to!

_I'm a Barbie girl!_

_In a Barbie world!_

_My tits are plastic!-_

Brian: They don't know how to play, see and we gotta get back to the others. *Winks at them* Shag you later.

Girls: *Swoon*

Back at B.E.N.'s crib:

Brain and Chris: *Gasp*

Stewie: Come on, Rupert! Let's dance! *Dances with his teddy bear*

Crew: *Dance with lots of naked women*

Peter and Louis: *Making out in the corner*

Herbert: PRETTY!

Chris: OMG! WTF HAPPENED?

Peter: *Stops kissing Louis* The pirates found us so instead of tying us up and that crap, they let us make out while they partied. *Turns to Louis* Now let's see those nipples!

Louis: *Annoying laugh AGAIN!*

Brain: Well! They do have Doritos.

Chris: WHERE! WHERE'S THE DORITOS!

Brian: *Points at a bowl of Doritos next to different dips*

Chris: *Runs over and stuffs his face* OMG! SALSA SAUCE? WHERE'S THE TANGY CHEESE FLAVOUR?

**Pretty random and crap. REVIEW!**


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